Everything Is Falling Apart.If I'm gone don't, don't look for me. I'm probably in a better place. Don't wake me, my dreams are probably better than reality. I'm lost at sea on a raft that's barely floating, drifting into unknown territory.
ToxicityYou kiss me to draw the words from my mouthOh whut a sweet sin this taste is.If I slit my wrists would I bleed out red?If I died right here,Would you love me instead?
Lonely RainAs liquid drops form on everything,I look around,The whole world becomes anew,I can feel the darkness being washed from me,Slipping away drop by drop,Slowly,In this lonely rain,
A LetterIt's been a while since we've spoken; eleven months maybe? The days seem to go by, the seasons change, but it still doesn't feel the same. I'm getting better slowly, it doesn't hurt as much as it used to but I still find myself crying at night. There's someone new in my life; he's amazing, but I still feel my heart ache for something I can't have. Death is sadistic thing. It haunts you until you can't take it anymore and drains your life of happiness. Maybe in eleven more months I'll be okay again.
LostI wish I could find myself at the bottom of an empty bottle,Or the pack of cigarettes lying next to me,But it doesn't feel right without you,Nothing could ever stop this pain spreading from my chest,An ache from the deepest depths of my splintered soul,Part of me left with you,But who am I now?
Trapped TruthThe truth is, I can’t get close to anyone because I know no one will ever truly understand me. No one will take the time to understand my demons. Talk to my monsters. Soothe my raging beasts. I’m alone in my darkness and I always will be. Trapped forever and no one will ever love me.
Maybe One DayThere once was a girl, a girl and her best friend. She was madly in love with him and he never knew. It was better that way. Her, silently dying inside. Him, obliviously in love with a sin. She forced herself every day to remember that he could never love her like she did him. He remained in the dark about her love until the very end. Every sin ends one day, she wanted it to come so badly, but at the same time she didn’t. Two hearts, both intertwined, both torn. Two sides of a broken piece that one day may fit together to form a new one. Only time would tell.
I Need YouI hear your voice in the distance,But it's too far away,All I can see is darkness,All I can feel is numb,Just the intake of breath is difficult,And with each step I get nowhere,I’m lost within the darkness of my soul,Where are you when I need you most,I hear you,But with each word you’re farther away,Don’t leave me here,I can’t do this on my own,I’m fading away slowly,Please save me,Soon everything I am will be gone.
Moments.So here we are again,Laying in silence,The regret on these sheets is self evident,But not from me,You fall asleep and I just lay there,My thoughts race back through my memories,I realize I've never been this happy,What's swirling around your dreams is a mystery,I may not see this again,It will forever remain in my memory,Your sleeping face is calming,You're even smiling,But even behind that is chaos.
You Deserve to SmileDo what you have to do to be happy.Eat an entire chocolate cake,Swallow all the pills you need to take -'Medication' isn't a dirty word.Wear a princess dressOr a band t-shirt withJeans in distress -Boy or girl or anything in between,Stand before that mirrorTake a twirlAnd see how beautiful you are.Go for a run,Have some fun,Watch Netflix until your eyes burn,Curl up in bed -Take a vacation from your head.Phone a friendAnd talk for hours,Or stay in your roomAnd wait for the darknessTo end -No need to pretend,Just do what you need.Paint a pictureOr write a sonnet,Or just sit stillAnd breathe -Things willGet better.Pick some flowers,Take hoursJust for yourself -You are just as specialAs anyone else.
Can You Hold on One More Day?I read a poem about a boy.Who had lost all of his pride and joy.He wore his heart on his sleeves.Which were stained red,From all of the blood that he bled.The boy died...By the blade of a knife.That he ran up and down his wrists.And I couldn't help but cry.That poem was fake.There wasn't such a boy.It wasn't a true story.But... Then I began to realize.That just because it wasn't that specific boy.There are others just like him.Begging for death.Slitting their wrists,And hoping to die.Because so many times,They've tried,And so many times,They've cried.But nothing gets better!I just wanted to say,I've been that boy.At some point.I felt that way.And I just wanted to say,I am so sorry.I know it hurts but hang on another day.Another month,Another year.Please, stay with me dear.Don't join that boy,No, not tonight.Stay with me,Please?
Suckerpunch SweetheartRed lipstick war paintEyeliner eyes.I am a soldier in my own war;A force split in two sides.I am a force of natureBring about my own raptureAnd I’ll bring you to your knees.Say pleaseLittle girl lost.Cut off my hairCut into my skinPretty princess girlCardinal sin.Let me inLet me in.Sugar in my veinsAnd poison in my heart;I can turn bloodInto a work of art.I won’t go there againWon’t do itI won’t.HandsA sea of handsAnd andsIn my head.A universe inside.Dead.Icy skinFiery eyesNobody knowsJust what's inside.
quirks.when i was a child:i loved to steal.i would go around my neighborhoodand steal lawn ornaments.at daycare, i would steal moneyand toysand food.once, i stole my next door neighbor’srabbit statute.when my parents confronted me,the lie was smooth and solid:i saw so-and-so take it.--when i was a child:i loved to lie.i would make up storiesto get reactions out of people.to see if they’d believe me.for fun.once, i convinced my friend charlottethat i had twenty-four hours to live.when she burst into tears,i had to bite my tongueto keep from laughing.--when i was a child:i loved animals.i would lock my dog in the closetand in the bathroom.a lot of my neighbors left birdcages outduring the dayso i set all of the birds free.once, i imagined what it would be liketo kill an animal.then, i imagined what it would be liketo run over it repeatedlywith a carso i did it with my scooterto a rose i foundbecause it was redlike blood.--when i was a
Eternity Comes Only Once ...In a dream of eternal youthwith beautiful eyes and unspoken truths,dancing on a thin thread drawn by Selenain a blue night when all four winds talking about peace;...In that unique poem when loveshines more than the Sun God on your ring finger,weaving lasting hopes on a delicate cobwebin a white day of the beginning of all beginnings;...In a cold afternoon of Decemberwith memories which surrounds the Arctic Circle,melting everlasting snows that floods the time, paradoxically, leaving behind them the fire which burns your heart;....In the black hole of a single moment,with pain, with answers, with courage, maybe with joy, or Not,Waltz with the time between seconds,Eternity comes only once...
absent resolvei.i cradle my hopewith both hands,as if holding it closewill give it the warmthto stay alive.when you come nearit flares and rustles,begging to take flight;yet i am both caressand cage.ii.we have confused our signals,mixed our drinks andnever together.closure looms ominousbut i would rather forgetthan be caught in thisluminous void ofperhaps -iii.i am weakand perhapsyou are blind,we, silent,are nothingperhaps we could beeverythingif only we spoke.iv.enigma,you have unknowinglytwisted yourselfin helical fundamentalsabout my identity,shaped me inabsence andthe embers ofa chance.i wish i knewwhen to releasethis frail hope.v.we're both drunkand you're shaking,caught in a momentneither here nor now.entwined fingersbring you back tothe present, and i lingerbut you are eager to eclipsethis vulnerability,so you run.vi.i'm too afraid to ask,but at least the question'sanswered:we're both cowards.
Demons Can Feel TooI'll admit that I'm a demon.I'm cold and cruel,Hateful and quick to anger.I'm flawed.I prefer darkness over light.But demons can have feelings too.I can be hurt, offended.I can be sympathetic.I can care for other peopleAnd I can love.I may be a cruel being.Excessively so at times.But that doesn't make me heartless.Though I may seem so,I'm not.I do have a heart.And I do use it.Just not often.Because the problem with having a heartIs it can be broken.And I don't want a broken heart.I think maybe that's why demons seem so cruel and hateful.They're just afraid of getting hurt.
Malalai heard a child scream once,only once,and it was the sound of Algebra,the Cold War,global warming,but also a mango seedscraping wood to etch grammar rules.my privilege mirrors bomb threats.i have three dream catchers in my room,all of which were created by foreign hands.my hands tell a well-kept secret,notebook paper and straight-edged rulers,pencils with erasers attached.the mango falls from the tree and the treeunderstands its nakedness.the student drops out of school and the schoolunderstands its cut budget.remember:Malala nearly died for her right to literacy.who am i, insignificant, ignorant,to rebel against a system whose brokennessis so manically coveted?
Moon HaloThere's a halo on the moon tonight.String another feathersnipped too soon'round the leather gripsof a scythe curved heavy with souls.Remember:Death is not like the SIMs.There are no warning labels.
ConnectionAs I fall asleep,I dream of you,The way your smile makes my heart soar,The way your words make my mind's trouble sleep,The way your soul collides with mine,As we form a connection,That stretches across time.