Everything Is Falling Apart.If I'm gone don't, don't look for me. I'm probably in a better place. Don't wake me, my dreams are probably better than reality. I'm lost at sea on a raft that's barely floating, drifting into unknown territory.
ToxicityYou kiss me to draw the words from my mouthOh whut a sweet sin this taste is.If I slit my wrists would I bleed out red?If I died right here,Would you love me instead?
Lonely RainAs liquid drops form on everything,I look around,The whole world becomes anew,I can feel the darkness being washed from me,Slipping away drop by drop,Slowly,In this lonely rain,
A LetterIt's been a while since we've spoken; eleven months maybe? The days seem to go by, the seasons change, but it still doesn't feel the same. I'm getting better slowly, it doesn't hurt as much as it used to but I still find myself crying at night. There's someone new in my life; he's amazing, but I still feel my heart ache for something I can't have. Death is sadistic thing. It haunts you until you can't take it anymore and drains your life of happiness. Maybe in eleven more months I'll be okay again.
LostI wish I could find myself at the bottom of an empty bottle,Or the pack of cigarettes lying next to me,But it doesn't feel right without you,Nothing could ever stop this pain spreading from my chest,An ache from the deepest depths of my splintered soul,Part of me left with you,But who am I now?
Trapped TruthThe truth is, I can’t get close to anyone because I know no one will ever truly understand me. No one will take the time to understand my demons. Talk to my monsters. Soothe my raging beasts. I’m alone in my darkness and I always will be. Trapped forever and no one will ever love me.
Maybe One DayThere once was a girl, a girl and her best friend. She was madly in love with him and he never knew. It was better that way. Her, silently dying inside. Him, obliviously in love with a sin. She forced herself every day to remember that he could never love her like she did him. He remained in the dark about her love until the very end. Every sin ends one day, she wanted it to come so badly, but at the same time she didn’t. Two hearts, both intertwined, both torn. Two sides of a broken piece that one day may fit together to form a new one. Only time would tell.
I Need YouI hear your voice in the distance,But it's too far away,All I can see is darkness,All I can feel is numb,Just the intake of breath is difficult,And with each step I get nowhere,I’m lost within the darkness of my soul,Where are you when I need you most,I hear you,But with each word you’re farther away,Don’t leave me here,I can’t do this on my own,I’m fading away slowly,Please save me,Soon everything I am will be gone.
Moments.So here we are again,Laying in silence,The regret on these sheets is self evident,But not from me,You fall asleep and I just lay there,My thoughts race back through my memories,I realize I've never been this happy,What's swirling around your dreams is a mystery,I may not see this again,It will forever remain in my memory,Your sleeping face is calming,You're even smiling,But even behind that is chaos.
I Find MyselfI find myself in my bedroom walls,Silent and ever watchful.I find myself in the worn living room floors,Beaten down until used to it.I find myself underneath my bed,Understanding that I am my own monster.I find myself looking at the door,Wondering when it will open.I find myself peeping through the window,But night leaves nothing in my sight.I find myself in old conversations,My heart finally still.I find myself stamped into black words,Wishing for white paint.I find myself in moonlight,And beg for the sun.I find myself in a dream,After all of this nightmare.I find myself crying,Because you are still there.I find myself hoping that this,This is the last time.I find myself turning from you,There is no use lying.I find myself smiling,At myself.I find myself a lost cause,Because...I always find myselfWaiting for you.
The Girl Who Was Afraid To BeShe speaks to me fondlyof passions and talents,of guitars and stars,with such breathless intensitythen stops short andapologisesfor speaking at all.All because somewhere in her life,someone she loved broke her heartby ignoringher beautiful wordsand telling her toshut up,keep it down,nobody cares.People aren’t born sad.We make them that way.
Rising from the ashesI sank downAll the way to the bottomAnd I thoughtI'd never rise againBut I've found my wayI relied on great friendsI fought hardAnd even if I still haveA long way to goI'll keep tryingI will survive
TransgenderI.)There was a timewhen he had long, curly hairto rival that of anyfairy-tale girl,his father called him"My little Princess"but he was always aPrince, and couldn't seewhy his Mother did notunderstand that.II. )There were two timeswhere he went to a churchonce for a Christmas service andhe couldn't understand how"God is love," when hehad been cursed with a bodynot his own -another a few years laterwhen his outsidematched his inside,but they turned him awaystill claiming that"God is love," and hestill couldn't understandhow that was possible.III.)There were three timeswhen other boys at schoolfollowed him home cursingevery bone in his body,calling him names, therewas one with blue eyeswho had a knife and left himfor dead,and the nurses in hospitalcalled him the wrong name -at night he cried bitterlyabout the world's ignorance.IV. )There were four timeswhen he wondered if therewas a special heavenfor boys like him and,hoping there was,he tried
ApartApartI couldn't see the consequences-As I tried to trust my heartI just couldn't resist-The blind love that ceased my warsHelping me let go of the struggles-That I foolishly held in my handsI freed the thoughts that quarreled-Tears fell in order for me to stand-Truth can be the worst enemyLies can be the strongest allyHarmony isn't immune to tragedyBecause you made a myth out of your apparent humanityMistakes can never be renamed! / Scars can never be erased!Compassion is used as bait! / Two sides to every face!A piece of peace is caged! / Watch the bridge burn away!I'll desecrate the meaning of “passion”You redefined my every moralThere will be no hesitationI won't need anyone -anymore--I ignored the risks-Of handing over my hopeKilled by a kiss-Turning my world to stoneI believed in your deceit-And I fell too hardMy mind endlessly screams-As I...s
It Was Never You...It really wasn't...And I know that I can twist this truth as much as I want...Whenever I'm sober, when I know I can put up that fake plastic smile;Just a few formal words that burn like acid from a liar's lips!"Differences in personality, a divergence in ideals..."Please, fucking, SPARE ME!Because when I look in this mirror, I know.When I see myself looking back at me, I know.Right here, right in front of my own blackened self;Those eyes that both reflect and stare into my dingy soul.I was the problem.I was the instigator.I was the perpetrator.And when I had broken every last bit of her,I was the one, who let it all fall to pieces.So please, you don't have to feel sorry for me,I am a bastard and I've got a very special place in hell waiting for me...- Word of Chen, Darkest Hour, 16th February 2015
The Bright Side of DyslexiaI was born with auditory dyslexia.I once heard of someone who wrote, directed, and coastguard in their own movie.I knew what the right word was, but it still got me thinking:About the invigorating music of waves crashing against my vessel,The challenge of serving to the best of my skills, The pride of keeping the shores of my homeland safe.That was how I found my career,And it's been just as rewarding as I had hoped.An episode of CSI mentioned literature marks on the vic's neck,Which inspired a fulfilling side project of poetry.In a later CSI, taunts were exchanged:"I'm the king of the jingle here! You don't stand a chants!""That's what you think! This isn't my first radio!"(It wasn't a very well-written episode.)Anyway, with that I tried adding tunes to my rhymes.The result was better than I expected;A local morning show even played one of my works on the radio!My girlfriend told me she needed a shoulder to crayon.This inspired me to
on the difference between life and livingotherkids grew up learning how to avoid obstacleswhile riding their bikes without training wheelsskateboarding in parks with the company of their friends loving familyand a thing called happiness,
Soldier BoyOne day he came home,A man given freedom.He looked in the mirror,And liked what he saw...The days wore on,And he lived his life.Morning PT was a distant memory,So too were the shouts of a Sergeant.Training came thrice at first,Then twice, then once,Then none...The days wore on...And life became harder,Sacrifices were made.He looked in the mirror one day,And didn't like what he saw.Not anymore...Not the pot-bellied man working for a few scraps.Nor the slovenly fellow who'd forgotten how to clean his kit.He earned his freedom, but he had lost what he respected...And the days wore on...And so he went out running, one fateful day,His lungs burning with every breath.Yet despite the pain inside his chest, He resolved the soldier, would return to his best."You've been gone a long time Corporal Chen, what say we go once more around the yard!"-Word of Chen, One-shot, 24 February
ConnectionAs I fall asleep,I dream of you,The way your smile makes my heart soar,The way your words make my mind's trouble sleep,The way your soul collides with mine,As we form a connection,That stretches across time.