Everything Is Falling Apart.If I'm gone don't, don't look for me. I'm probably in a better place. Don't wake me, my dreams are probably better than reality. I'm lost at sea on a raft that's barely floating, drifting into unknown territory.
ToxicityYou kiss me to draw the words from my mouthOh whut a sweet sin this taste is.If I slit my wrists would I bleed out red?If I died right here,Would you love me instead?
Lonely RainAs liquid drops form on everything,I look around,The whole world becomes anew,I can feel the darkness being washed from me,Slipping away drop by drop,Slowly,In this lonely rain,
A LetterIt's been a while since we've spoken; eleven months maybe? The days seem to go by, the seasons change, but it still doesn't feel the same. I'm getting better slowly, it doesn't hurt as much as it used to but I still find myself crying at night. There's someone new in my life; he's amazing, but I still feel my heart ache for something I can't have. Death is sadistic thing. It haunts you until you can't take it anymore and drains your life of happiness. Maybe in eleven more months I'll be okay again.
LostI wish I could find myself at the bottom of an empty bottle,Or the pack of cigarettes lying next to me,But it doesn't feel right without you,Nothing could ever stop this pain spreading from my chest,An ache from the deepest depths of my splintered soul,Part of me left with you,But who am I now?
Trapped TruthThe truth is, I can’t get close to anyone because I know no one will ever truly understand me. No one will take the time to understand my demons. Talk to my monsters. Soothe my raging beasts. I’m alone in my darkness and I always will be. Trapped forever and no one will ever love me.
Maybe One DayThere once was a girl, a girl and her best friend. She was madly in love with him and he never knew. It was better that way. Her, silently dying inside. Him, obliviously in love with a sin. She forced herself every day to remember that he could never love her like she did him. He remained in the dark about her love until the very end. Every sin ends one day, she wanted it to come so badly, but at the same time she didn’t. Two hearts, both intertwined, both torn. Two sides of a broken piece that one day may fit together to form a new one. Only time would tell.
I Need YouI hear your voice in the distance,But it's too far away,All I can see is darkness,All I can feel is numb,Just the intake of breath is difficult,And with each step I get nowhere,I’m lost within the darkness of my soul,Where are you when I need you most,I hear you,But with each word you’re farther away,Don’t leave me here,I can’t do this on my own,I’m fading away slowly,Please save me,Soon everything I am will be gone.
Moments.So here we are again,Laying in silence,The regret on these sheets is self evident,But not from me,You fall asleep and I just lay there,My thoughts race back through my memories,I realize I've never been this happy,What's swirling around your dreams is a mystery,I may not see this again,It will forever remain in my memory,Your sleeping face is calming,You're even smiling,But even behind that is chaos.
~~~When my heart searches for home,You are whom I long for.
Feel like shit? Read this. Hey you. Yeah you, reading this right now at this very moment. You are awesome. No, really, you are. You may not believe me, but it's true. You don't see it because you're upset right now. Whatever you're going through right now, whatever has upset you or turned your life upside down, just know that it won't last forever. Nothing good lasts forever, that's true, but nothing bad lasts forever too. Eventually whatever you're going through will pass, you'll move on through healing over time, and you'll be able to be happy again someday, don't worry. As long as you don't give up. You may never completely get over it, or it may take years or more to move on from, but I can promise as time goes on the pain will become less and less. It may feel like no one gives a fuck about you, and you may want to give up on living, but please don't. I can promise atleast one person out there gives a fuck. And if no one does, then I do. If you have no friends, I ca
Coffeeguts pile over whitesheets and blankets.i spilled them to youlast nightand you still saidi looked lovelya black sticky stain.how many chemicalscan your stomach handlebefore you have to drown me?how much bitternesscan you swallow? ~~~you are mycream and sugar, darling.and it tears me in halfwhen you split your skin.if you aren't carefuli might not be able tosip you up again.i am a powdery shadowcold autumn breezesand breathless cloudsbut if i could keep youbreathing, my world might bea little more alive
WeightWeightThere is a weightYou asked me to hold.(Just for a while,Just for a while.)My tendons strain and snap,I lack your Atlas strength.The crushing force of gravityMakes me weak, makes me sore.Take it back, take it back,But you’ve gone away.I’m sinking down, I’m sinking down.The water rises to my throat.Pushing down, rising upDrowning and drowning and drowning.Take it back, please take it back,Where have you gone?I’m pinned beneath this weight,With water to my nose.My lungs fill up with salt,Choking and screaming and breathingOnly freezing thickness of water.Where is that mild friend oxygen?Where has he gone?My stinging eyes are blind here.I cannot to escape, unwillingTo shed this leaden snareWherein I dwell confined.By You.I grip it tightly.Surely I will die,Sweet air has left my bloodcompletely.I lay back and let black water take me,Frozen fingers loosen on Your weight.And all at onceit falls awaycompletely.I watch i
FourFour words So simpleSo small.FourAnd I'm terrified to say them most of all.I'd be admitting itAnd then there would be no stopping.Let me live in the land of denialWith lies on every corner. Those who matter to me come firstAnd my honesty would only hurt themOr would they be relieved I can admit it?I dare not whisper the words In fear of someone hearing.But I long to scream themTo set myself free.But I want more than anythingFor you to be happySo darling, can you smile for me?I'd love to see that pretty grin of yours.Will I tell you the words?Only when you're okay againBecause precious, you matter more than I.
GayI am gay.I'm not a disease, I'm not a problemI'm not an afflictionI don't need treatment.I don't need helpI'm not sickI'm not confusedI'm not a sin.I am gay.I'm your daughterYour sisterYour friendYour co workerYour classmateYour acquaintanceA complete strangerI am gay.I need love, just like youI need smilesI need supportI need a hugI need a friendI need a familyI need acceptanceI need understandingI need youI am gay.I know what love isI know what pain isI know what hate isI know what life isI am gay.And I need you to love meThe same way you loved me before you knewI am gay.And I have experienced hateFrom more people than just youI am gay.And I wont change.I wont give up.I wont back down.I wont pretend.I wont lie.I wont deny.I wont hide.I wont hurt.I am gay.And that's okay.
ChokeDarkness closes around me,Shutting off the air,My lungs scream in fear,My fingers grope for air,As my vision fades,I see you reaching for me,I try to reach out,But the life leaves my body....