Everything Is Falling Apart.If I'm gone don't, don't look for me. I'm probably in a better place. Don't wake me, my dreams are probably better than reality. I'm lost at sea on a raft that's barely floating, drifting into unknown territory.
ToxicityYou kiss me to draw the words from my mouthOh whut a sweet sin this taste is.If I slit my wrists would I bleed out red?If I died right here,Would you love me instead?
Lonely RainAs liquid drops form on everything,I look around,The whole world becomes anew,I can feel the darkness being washed from me,Slipping away drop by drop,Slowly,In this lonely rain,
A LetterIt's been a while since we've spoken; eleven months maybe? The days seem to go by, the seasons change, but it still doesn't feel the same. I'm getting better slowly, it doesn't hurt as much as it used to but I still find myself crying at night. There's someone new in my life; he's amazing, but I still feel my heart ache for something I can't have. Death is sadistic thing. It haunts you until you can't take it anymore and drains your life of happiness. Maybe in eleven more months I'll be okay again.
LostI wish I could find myself at the bottom of an empty bottle,Or the pack of cigarettes lying next to me,But it doesn't feel right without you,Nothing could ever stop this pain spreading from my chest,An ache from the deepest depths of my splintered soul,Part of me left with you,But who am I now?
Trapped TruthThe truth is, I can’t get close to anyone because I know no one will ever truly understand me. No one will take the time to understand my demons. Talk to my monsters. Soothe my raging beasts. I’m alone in my darkness and I always will be. Trapped forever and no one will ever love me.
Maybe One DayThere once was a girl, a girl and her best friend. She was madly in love with him and he never knew. It was better that way. Her, silently dying inside. Him, obliviously in love with a sin. She forced herself every day to remember that he could never love her like she did him. He remained in the dark about her love until the very end. Every sin ends one day, she wanted it to come so badly, but at the same time she didn’t. Two hearts, both intertwined, both torn. Two sides of a broken piece that one day may fit together to form a new one. Only time would tell.
I Need YouI hear your voice in the distance,But it's too far away,All I can see is darkness,All I can feel is numb,Just the intake of breath is difficult,And with each step I get nowhere,I’m lost within the darkness of my soul,Where are you when I need you most,I hear you,But with each word you’re farther away,Don’t leave me here,I can’t do this on my own,I’m fading away slowly,Please save me,Soon everything I am will be gone.
Moments.So here we are again,Laying in silence,The regret on these sheets is self evident,But not from me,You fall asleep and I just lay there,My thoughts race back through my memories,I realize I've never been this happy,What's swirling around your dreams is a mystery,I may not see this again,It will forever remain in my memory,Your sleeping face is calming,You're even smiling,But even behind that is chaos.
You are StrongYou are so, so strong.Whatever you’re going through,Just keep onKeeping on.The time it takesMight be short or long,But you will findThat perfect placeWhere you belong.Just hold on.
The Words you Don't want to HearBy the time,You read this...
It's Okay to be SelfishSometimes, you have to do things just for yourself.And that’s okay.Sometimes you’ve got to stay in bed,Empty your head,And think of all the nice thingsYou've ever had saidTo you.And that’s okay.Sometimes you’ve got to cry,Scream like you’re going to die,And just lieAround, being sad.And that’s okay.Sometimes you’ve got to shut everything out,Just forget aboutWhat you want to be without.And that’s okay.Sometimes you’ve got to talk,Just let the words walkOut of your mouth,Carrying your thoughts with them.And that’s okay.Sometimes you’ve got be selfish.And that’s okay -You do whatever it takes,To get you through the day.
That's So Gay"That's so gay,"Is what you say,But silently,You've pushed oneOf your friends away."Oh no, honey,Boys don't playWith Barbie dolls."By enforcing gender roles,You are killingYour kids,And telling themThat you'll love them no matter what**Conditions apply.Don't push your loved onesAwayWith things you do or say,Because words hurt;But they hurt mostFrom the mouths ofThe people that told you,They'd always love you.Saying, "that's so gay",Or making them behaveIn a gendered way,Is telling themThat it's not okayTo be somethingThey can't help.(And even if they could,Why wouldIt matter?)And it will hurt themForever,And every time you're together,They'll be wondering;"Am I wrong?""Do I really belong?"Every time you say something like,"That's so gay",You burn someone's trust away.And you can't build anything backFrom ash.
My Mother Found a Suicide NoteI'm going to paintthese white walls redwith a loaded gunand the pull of a trigger.Say goodbye to allof my worries and insecuritiesand add another notch to my razor.Another handful of pillsto take away the painand the lies of yesterday.Inhale the poisonto quicken the diseasethat's slowly killing me.Allow the numbnessto run through my bloodstreamand silence my demons.My body is becoming coldand I cannot feel a thing anymore.The white walls are red,my razor has another notch,the lies of yesterday are gone,the disease has reached my heart,and my demons are quiet.I'm home.
A Letter To The Girl Who Hates Her BodyA letter to the girl who hates her body.A letter to that girlWho scrolls through tumblr.Admiring all of those models.With thigh gaps that look cute with skirts.And a waist that you can barely see.You're beautifulA letter to the girlWho looks at models,For their curves.The way their hips go outwardsAnd their size D cup breasts.You're beautiful.Please don't look in the mirror,And hate the girl you see.That girl is youAnd she should be loved unconditionally.Because you deserve love.And how much love is not determined on your waist size,Whether you're chubby or skinnyYou're still so very pretty.You're so perfect.So for every time you look in that mirror.And tell yourself you aren't worth it.That you're arms are too big,Your hips aren't big enough.Stop.Tell yourself.I am a woman.A lady.I am strong.I have a body like a castle.A kingdom made just for me.And I will not destroy that castle,By trying to starve myself.By taking brick by brick and dismantling it
Grey~Stormy grey irises Of their own will.Yet follow alongWith your tender smile.
The Third DeathFor RonThe first deathturns your bodyinto the grassand trees,every breath of air you hadsent sprinting like childrenacross the blue-sky meadow.The second deathis when the laughterand champagne-gold connectionsquiet into sparks.Illuminating our citiesfor as long as us.The third deathis when your actions stophaving impact.It is never,it is when post-heat velvetbursts into a new cosmic flower.Breathtaking anicca.Every kiss, every laugh,all those tears-they turn the Sun.Every laugh of inkthat bursts from our pens-that is the immortal part of us.Life, this ball of beauty-chaos,it is to be cherished.You gave usso many flowers.May their petals live forever.
The Girl Who Was Afraid To BeShe speaks to me fondlyof passions and talents,of guitars and stars,with such breathless intensitythen stops short andapologisesfor speaking at all.All because somewhere in her life,someone she loved broke her heartby ignoringher beautiful wordsand telling her toshut up,keep it down,nobody cares.People aren’t born sad.We make them that way.
ChokeDarkness closes around me,Shutting off the air,My lungs scream in fear,My fingers grope for air,As my vision fades,I see you reaching for me,I try to reach out,But the life leaves my body....